Elle turns One


I can’t believe it, y’all. My girl is ONE. I had this idea that I wanted to write this long insightful post about her first year, but honestly, I don’t have it in me. The past year has been so emotionally draining that all I want to do is celebrate HER. Celebrate that we made it, that I made it, that our girl is happy, loving, strong-willed, beautiful, feisty, smart and funny and we love her to no end.

Dress:  Amazon  Floral Headband:  Amazon  Photography: ME (yay!) and  Jasmine Rose  (with lots of help from Baby Shark! LOL)

Dress: Amazon
Floral Headband: Amazon
Photography: ME (yay!) and Jasmine Rose (with lots of help from Baby Shark! LOL)

Even though, like the past year, this photoshoot was an extreme challenge, it was SO MUCH FUN! I had a ball planning out the details, picking out her outfit(s) and accessories, combing through Pinterest to find the perfect inspiration, finding the studio and finding the right decorations and putting it all together was so, so satisfying. I couldn’t be happier about the way these images came out.

I hope you enjoy! Please feel free to ask me any questions about the process in the comments.

The day didn’t go by without a few meltdowns. LOL

The day didn’t go by without a few meltdowns. LOL

Vanilla Cake:  Brooklyn Sweet Spot  Decorated with silk flowers and eucalyptus leaves from  Michael’s

Vanilla Cake: Brooklyn Sweet Spot
Decorated with silk flowers and eucalyptus leaves from Michael’s

Crown:  Amazon  Dress:  Circa81 Kids  Shoes: Adidas

Crown: Amazon
Dress: Circa81 Kids
Shoes: Adidas


A New York Love Story


Everything the dating “experts” tell you NOT to do/expect is pretty much a part of our story. 

1. We met in a club

2. Became “familiar” quickly. 😂 

3. Had in-house dates early on.  

4. Dealt with ex drama

5. Broke up & got back together.

6. Moved in before engagement or any talk of marriage.  

7. No magical marriage proposal moment.  


BUT, here we are, happy and in love.  

Funny thing though: we *almost* didn’t even make it to our first date. So here’s the story:

Dre and I met at a club. 😳 It was my friend’s birthday and we had plans to go to Atlantic City for the weekend. At the last minute, she changed her mind and another friend of ours invited us to a party that she was working (as a a promoter). There were 3 of us, my friend & her boyfriend, and me. I knew a lot of people there, so I did my little social butterfly thing and roamed around/danced alone most of the evening so her and the bf could hang. At one point, I wandered, tipsy and in a great mood, over to the bar to get a glass of water - where I bumped into Dre. Literally fell into his arms. The dress I had on had an open back and his hand found his way to my bare back and conversation ensued.

Me: My back is sweaty.

Dre: *shrugs* I don’t care, do you? 

Me: *shrugs* not really.  

I don’t quite remember what else was said #blamethevodka, but at some point he introduced me to his sister and friend who he’d come to the party with. I do remember mentioning where I lived, and him saying that his friend lived a block away. He’ll say I invited him over to our table for a drink but I don’t remember that, I just remember that once I walked away, I kept seeing him every time I turned around. On the dance floor, by the stairs, by our table. LOL. I gave him (& 2 other guys) my number that cold, December Saturday night.


I had heard from the other two already, but by Tuesday evening, hadn’t heard a peep from Mr. Touch My Sweaty Back. LATE that night - like after midnight - I finally get a text, “hey, can you talk?”

Um, no. *ignore* And best believe I won’t be talking to him if he decides to call later. Who does he think he is that he can text me that late, for the first time, and I’m supposed to be ready and willing to talk at that hour. No, again.


I get a call the next afternoon from the same number. *sends to voicemail*

And I was determined to not even listen to the message. But my curiosity got the best of me, so I finally checked it as I was heading home from work that day.

Ugh. He has a nice voice. DOUBLE UGH. He’s witty & funny.

So now I have to call him back. I don’t really know what it was, but something about hearing his voice made me smile. Just typing this out now gives me that same happy feeling - what we later called the “warm & fuzzies” for each other.

On that call, we planned a first date, and well, it never happened. HE STOOD ME UP!

Not really, but I like to say that. LOL! He called me a few hours before our date and told me he was styling a photoshoot and it was running later than he expected so he wouldn’t be able to make it, and politely asked if we could reschedule.

He was STYLING A PHOTOSHOOT. If that right there doesn’t tell me we were meant to be together…! So yeah, we rescheduled, had a blast (even though our friends who were on the double date with us were kissing before we’d even hugged each other LOL) and, well there’s a whole lot of other stuff that happened before we got here, but I’m sure you’re just ready to see some cute kids. Maybe I’ll share more of our story later. Until then, feast on the cuteness!


Mom of Two


You know how people say you’re never really ready for kids? I honestly thought I was prepared to be a mom of 2. But his little girl came along and turned my whole everything upside down. Never in my life did I expect to have a baby who was so difficult to understand, so moody...a baby who challenged my own sanity. It’s something I chose not to go too deeply into on this platform (or with anyone, really) - the severe anxiety I dealt with in the early days, but I realized that speaking on my challenges my be a blessing to someone else who may be feeling as alone and as angry as I once felt. I was angry with myself for not being able to control my emotions, I was angry with her because she wouldn’t stop crying, I was angry that she wasn’t an “easy” baby like her brother was. I cried every day, whether in the middle of the night or the middle of the day, it happened. I had terrible thoughts of throwing my child, of leaving her somewhere, anything that would make this anxiety go away.

And what do we do? We blame ourselves, right? That somehow, this is our fault. It’s my fault that she cries like this, it’s my fault that she can’t get to sleep and cries for hours instead, it’s my fault that I can’t get a grip on my feelings, and can burst out into tears at any given moment, IT’S MY FAULT THAT I’M HAVING THESE TERRIBLE THOUGHTS ABOUT DOING SOMETHING HARMFUL TO MY CHILD!!

Only, it isn’t.

It isn’t our fault at all. Mama, it’s not your fault.

Our bodies take on so much when we carry a child, and a lot of times we (and the people around us) take that for granted. I mean, it’s happening TO US, and sometimes we still tend to forgot that so much of our energy, our brain cells, our blood, our EVERYTHING goes to these tiny humans we are growing. And then after we give birth, have to figure out how to care for them and ourselves with everything else we have going on. Homelife, other kids, spouses, jobs… it’s a fucking lot.

I’d have moments where I would be holding Elle to feed her and would burst into tears - for what felt like no reason at all. Christian was there on occasion and wouldn’t know what else to do other than give me a hug (which of course made me cry more, because how does this sweet boy know exactly what I need when I don’t even know?). She’d be crying because she was tired, but still too tired to sleep, and we’d be crying together. My days felt empty and alone and my nights were restless. Top that with recovering from a c-section and not having any of my family nearby to help.

Mamas take care of yourselves, please. And I don’t just mean get your nails done, I mean go to therapy if you need it (I will be starting soon), talk to people about what you’re going through (this is really the first time I’m really talking about it), take some time away from your children, don’t blame yourself for feeling alone, scared, angry, overwhelmed. Don’t allow anyone else to look down on your for those feelings. Pray, breathe, laugh, dance. Do what’s right for you, because if mama isn’t well, the family won’t be either.

*so sorry if this sounded like rambling, I was literally typing my feelings out and threw it up without re-reading it because I knew if I did, I would chicken out and not share. Someone (besides me) needed to read this message today. I pray that this finds you well and on the mend.

Elle praying.jpg

How to get your child into modeling

How to get your child into modeling

Soooo... my kids have an agent. It sounds quite ridiculous to even say, but that's the world of entertainment for ya! Whenever I post about going to a casting with one of the kids, I get lots of DMs inquiring about how people can get their kids into modeling as well. I figured I'd put together my tips on my site, so that I can direct everyone right here when I'm asked.

Pabons in Hawaii

Pabons in Hawaii

Our long anticipated family vacation to Hawaii was a BLAST... for the kids. Before stepping foot on the airplane, I had some really grand plans. The content I'd be able to create, all the places we'd be able to visit (I had a list and some locations saved to an Instagram collection), our long days hanging out at the beach, mini hikes, cultural excursions, etc. Lemme tell you, NONE of that happened.