Why I Chose My Sanity over Convenience

All photos by Marta Skovro // @skovro_visuals

People would often tell me they would kill for my job. I got to travel all the time - to Caribbean islands in colder months, to parts of the US I hadn’t been to before, often to the west coast, etc - and when I wasn’t traveling, I worked from home with Fridays off. All for a brand/company that I love being a part of. Sounds like a dream job!

While working from home, I got to pick Christian up from school every day (saving on after care costs), I was able to attend all of his school functions and even go on some field trips if they took place on a Friday. If either of the kids got sick, I was there in less than 10 minutes to pick them up and could always get a few blog-related or personal things done before picking Elle up at 5:45pm.

All of that was great and super convenient, BUT…

I wasn’t happy. I didn’t enjoy the work I was doing. That, on top of being micro-managed and dealing with a Manager who barely said thank you or acknowledged all the great work my team and I were doing really took its toll. Not to mention, Dre also travels for work and since we don’t have much help with the kids, we can’t travel at the same time. Most occasions, my trips would begrudgingly be moved, but I was always reminded of the “favors” and concessions that were made for me in these cases.

Leather Blazer: Vintage, similar here
Sweater: 525 America (I’m wearing a size M)
Pants: I stole them from Dre, not sure of the brand, but these are similar
Shoes: Sam Edelman (old) - similar here

After 3 years of this, I was stressed, anxiety-ridden (on top of my PPD) and found myself bringing that stress home to my family. I knew I couldn’t allow this to affect me in this way any longer.

FINALLY, a position opened up that I knew was perfect for me. I applied and was granted an interview immediately with the VP of the department. It was a great interview, but he made sure to reiterate that the position was NOT work from home and that I wouldn’t be traveling much, if at all. I’d have to be in the office from 9-5 every day. My heart sank a little. No more picking Christian up from school . No more alone time (which I desperately need) during the day, and no more being close to the kids in case anything happened.

But that also meant no more crying because I couldn’t deal with an insensitive, uncaring, micro-managing boss. No more doing tedious, uninteresting work or being spoken down to as if I was a child. No more complaining to Dre about everything I was dealing with, and having him watch me stress over the work, bringing that stress into our marriage and my parenting. I often felt down, and those negative feelings were eating me up.

I had to get out, and I tried for TWO years! Applying and interviewing for new positions, and nothing was materializing. Things got even worse after I returned from maternity leave after having Elle. I was sent away on three 3 day trips back to back to back - away from my 6 month old baby, and was booked for three more in the coming months. I asked to be switched to a shorter/closer trip and instead of being given a real reason as to why, I was simply told, “No.”

Instead of trying to reason with the unreasonable, I decided to go to the HR department for help. Thankfully they were able to help a bit with getting some trips moved, but that only made things more unbearable for me.

Even though I had to return to the office on a daily basis and I don’t get to travel, I’ve felt SO MUCH happier. I find the joy in my work again. My new boss is a dream to work for and I have zero complaints about the work I am tasked with, or who I work for and that is a true blessing. I begin and end my work days on a much happier note and am no longer bringing that stress home to my family.

So yes, while I gave up all the convenience of my previous position, I regained my sanity and my overall happiness.

I say to you, do what you can to protect your sanity and your peace. It is important for your happiness and those around you!